The Lazy Gits

And Finally, For the Time Being

2007-07-17T22:40:00.000+01:00

Well in case you hadn't guessed, we're home. Back at our jobs. Just moved into our own place. Just got mobiles sorted. Just got home phone sorted. Just got broadband sorted. Still getting our heads sorted ...

Thanks to everyone who kept us going with comments , texts and emails as we went through the trip, even the mad fella who posted the entire Koran on the picture of Machu Picchu that scared my Mum so much that I had to delete it, picture and all. We will eventually be in touch with everyone to catch up but please bear with us during the head sort out process.

There's probably not much point in doing this entry because I have slyly being keeping track of visitors through Google Analytics and was quite impressed with the statistics until I found out that www.lazygits.blogspot.com was my parents' home page and so they clocked up a "visit" everytime they opened a new tab on their computer. Suddenly, not so impressive.

Anyway, it's late, I'm tired, I have work tomorrow (shock). Wanted to do this post to let you all know (by which I mean my Mum & Dad when they open their homepage) that lazygits will live on as I attempt to become the unlazy git by shaming myself in my efforts to run the Truro Half Marathon on 16 September. Training so far has been patchy - watch this space.

Meet the Cispis

2007-05-05T13:09:00.001+01:00

P1040244
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Dancing

2007-05-05T12:50:00.001+01:00

P1040234
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

I realise I am quite small but this is NOT me dancing with my husband.

Machu Picchu

2007-05-04T13:01:00.001+01:00

P1040313
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Evaristo and assorted other things

2007-04-23T19:36:00.000+01:00

And so the end is near and we've faced the final 23 hour bus journey. Well, actually, that was a few weeks ago from Buenos Aires to Salta and since then we've only had one 16 hour one and four 7 hour ones. All this coach travel is giving us the heart to believe that one day we might be able to tackle the fabled National Express route from Penzance to Inverness just for the hell of it ...

Salta was great but just another city and a certain pal of mine had been moaning about our lack of "action" pictures so we headed off to San Pedro de Atacama in Chile and hired bikes to keep her happy. We cycled first to Tolar where we saw some pre-Inca ruins which were a bit Star war-esque and then to Valle de la Luna for the famous sunset. The sunset was fairly amazing, the entire desert and all the mountains turned pink, but the effect was slightly marred by a yappy white American traveller bellowing to a bemused black American traveller about how she had forgotten that black people existed until she saw "one" in Santiago and assorted other nonsense. The cycling was a lot of fun but, little did we know, the real fun hadn't even started. You don't know from fun until you leave the Valle de la Luna one minute after the sun has set and find yourself on a 20km cycle through darkness as black and thick as shoe polish with only a vague memory of the route but a very clear memory of the warning not to go off road because of the landmines. Ho ho ho. How we laughed. The cycle to the ominously named Death Valley the next day was definitely something of an anticlimax after that.

After Atacama we headed to Arica. If you are ever in Northern Chile, don't. We swiftly made our way out of there and headed over the border to Peru, the 10th and last country of our trip. Arequipa, the city where we stayed first, is high - 2,325m above sea level - and we proceeded to get even higher. Yes, we did partake of the local coca leaves but, contrary to what you might believe, you chew these to help you cope with being high rather than to get high, if you know what I mean ... apparently they ease the symptoms of altitude sickness and we needed them because we soared to over 4,500m above sea level on our two day tour of the Colco Valley. This was definitely a highlight of the trip just for the condor watching.

Then to Puno where we took a tour of the Lake Titicaca, the highest navigable lake in the world, which the Lonely Planet describes as "breathtakingly beautiful". Well, it was all right, like. The highlight was the islands made entirely of reeds and staying with Evaristo and his family on another island, Amantani. The people on the islands grow food for themselves and not for export and so taking in tourists for the night is a chance to make an extra bit of income. As is training your kids to follow tourists round the island playing pan pipes very badly and asking for money. As is training your kids to follow tourists round the island singing really badly and asking for money. As is demanding that tourists take pictures of your snotty nosed baby and then asking for a sole for the privilege. Very resourceful really, the people on Amantani.

Our host, Evaristo, was a breed apart from the rest though. His only annoying habit was giving us too much to eat which meant that because we were too polite to leave two thirds of a plate of food we had to shove spuds and rice into plastic bags and then throw it out on excursions round the island like prisoners getting rid of dirt from the escape tunnel. There was also the slight inconvenience of having to go onto a balcony with no rail, down a step ladder and through a door, down a narrow ridge of dirt and past two donkeys and a cow with no light to go to the squat toilet at night. Apart from those slight irritations it was a quite a fun experience.

Anyway, we left Puno on Sunday and are now in Cusco waiting to go to Machu Picchu. We can't do the 4 day trek to the ruins because it costs a fortune and also because, in 4 days, we are very likely to be sleeping soundly in our own bed in Jon's parents house in Sunbury-on-Thames. Yes, we are coming home. We have run out of money and enthusiasm (see entry about Titicaca above by way of example of latter) and have booked a flight back this Friday. We then begin the great tour of Great Britain and Northern Ireland - well, Sunbury, Hornsey, Strabane, maybe Glenties and Bristol, and Truro - before we start work again. Anyone who wants to join the tour in a Forrest Gump on his run kind of way can send an application to one of our emails. Confirmation of acceptance will be relayed in a personal telephone call. Oh, one last thing, we have tried guinea pig but there is not much meat on it. Or him.

Happy Birthday Jim

2007-04-19T02:14:00.001+01:00

P1040071
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Death Valley

2007-04-13T01:06:00.001+01:00

P1030812
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Can you spot little me cycling here?

Sunset, Valley Of The Moon

2007-04-13T00:33:00.001+01:00

P1030699
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Through the Andes

2007-04-13T00:20:00.001+01:00

P1030642
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Better, Doxy?

Sand Dunes, Brazil

2007-04-09T17:07:00.001+01:00

P1030309
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Big Surf, Brazil

2007-04-09T17:04:00.001+01:00

P1030235
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Balcony, Joaquina, Brazil

2007-04-09T17:01:00.001+01:00

Balcony, Joaquina, Brazil
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Morello Rocks!

2007-04-07T00:45:00.001+01:00

P1030511
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

As some of you will know, my future brother in law is currently touring the States with his band, Morello. It appears though that they have missed a trick as they evidently have a big fanbase in Salta, Argentina, as this rather large item of graffiti shows. Obviously there´s no question of me painting this myself and getting arrested and having to pay a bribe to get out, Mum.

That Would be an Ecumenical matter

2007-04-06T23:33:00.000+01:00

We were scarcely in Brazil five minutes when we ran into problems. We had literally just jumped off a bus to get our passports stamped and crossed the road to join the bus stop again when the problems announced themselves in the shape of an Aussie man without a brain and his girlfriend. It has to be said that we brought it on ourselves though. We started talking to them to escape the attention of a patronising 6ft Belgian (of which 5ft 3" was legs) who had taken a liking to us and who insisted on believing that we were younger than her 29 years and therefore in need of her expert guidance. So, we started talking to these two and started completely ignoring her to the point of rudeness. Goes. Around. Comes. Around. Well. Said.

There were no clues at first that we had encountered problems. Do you remember the episode of Father Ted where they teach Father Jack to say, yes, no and that would be an ecumenical matter? Well, obviously the girlfriend had taught the ape that when in polite company, he should say yes, no, I completely agree with you on that one, mate and globalisation is definitely a problem facing the world today. They said they were off to Florianopolis, we were off to Florianopolis, let´s all go together, ye he!!

Well, to cut a very long story short, we started to realise that there were three major things wrong with our new friend:

1. He liked it best when he was talking ALL THE TIME.

2. Most of his talking consisted of sentences starting with "I´m not racist but ..." included the words niggers, wops and wogs and ended with "... so anyway, like I said, I´m not racist because me uncle is married to a Chinese."

3. The remainder of his talking was about cars and rubbish tips.

By this time, we were already sharing an apartment with him. He said he had gone back to education and was no longer a mechanic but a "Trainer" but we reckon he must be training even more intellectually challenged persons somewhere how to open Coke cans or something because it´s hard to see how he could be qualified for anything else. Anyway, after three days we made good our escape, being very particular to be particularly vague about the whereabouts of our new apartment.

Florianopolis itself, however, was great. Sun, surf, fresh fish and prawns were so abundant we felt guilty and so tempered it by giving up the alcohol. We left really refreshed, fit and healthy which was just as well because, damn, those Uruguayans in La Paloma really know their cooking and practically give their red wine away. We had one good day of weather in La Paloma but lots of surf, food, wine, coffees, desserts and Changing Rooms. It was heartbreaking to leave for Montevideo but we had a date with our Irish friends, Con & Marita, there for a good old session before they went home.

A good old session (or two, who´s counting) was definitely had but the weekend was slightly soured by the strange innkeeper who refused to allow Con & Marita to say goodbye to us in our room because they had already checked out which meant that I had to get out of my bed and go into the street with my hangover at 5pm. The indignity of it.

I´m writing this from Salta, Argentina, after a very brief return to Buenos Aires and we´re off to Atacama, Chile, on Sunday. We should be home sometime in May now because the limitless funds are finally starting to become limited and so we´re looking forward to seeing you all then. Well those of you in the UK and Eire that is ...

United Nations, Rosario

2007-03-31T00:42:00.001+01:00

Jon, Mac, Mario, Jose, Charlie
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Buenos Aires

2007-03-31T00:40:00.001+01:00

P1020974
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Iguazu Falls

2007-03-31T00:39:00.001+01:00

P1030166
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Butterflies and Macca

2007-03-31T00:37:00.001+01:00

P1030133
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Devil´s Throat, Iguazu Falls

2007-03-31T00:36:00.001+01:00

Devil´s Throat, Iguazu Falls
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Argentina, like, whatever?

2007-03-29T15:16:00.000+01:00

A very peculiar phenomenon came to my attention when we were in Argentina. It might have been going on for some time prior to that but it was in Mendoza that I first became fully aware of it. It shames me to say it, but my husband has started talking like a teenager from Sweet Valley High. He raises his voice at the end of his sentences? It´s, like, really annoying? I have his permission to nip him every time he does it and you have my permission to abuse him likewise when he gets back if I haven´t nipped it out of him by then. The Irish amongst you might even wish to use my choice new phrase for insulting the English which I learnt from Charlie the Frenchman which goes like this: "Fuck you, Roast Beef". Sounds great in a French accent.

When Jon wasn´t speaking like Shannon Doherty and I wasn´t nipping him, we travelled around Argentina a bit. We started in Mendoza where we stayed in a fantastic hostel and made lots of friends from all over the place: Irish, Israeli, Lativan, English, French, Bosnian, Scottish, Argentine ... We then travelled to Mendoza on our first (but definitely not our last) overnight bus trip to Buenos Aires. Fourteen hours on a bus sounds daunting but when you have bingo, DVDs, three course meals, red wine, champagne and a proper lay-down bed, it´s not so hard really.

We intended to stay in Buenos Aires for four weeks learning Spanish but that plan changed for various reasons, one of which was that all the Spanish teachers we spoke with couldn´t speak a word of English and, do you know, we didn´t think that boded well for our studies. After a week or so of wandering around eating obscene amounts of red meat and taking in the Boca game, we headed off to Rosario, a "quiet" place just North. "Quiet" is in inverted commas because, let`s put it this way, Shane McGowan would find it hard to keep up with the drinking there. They don´t start until about two in the morning and it`s common to arrive for your breakfast at about 11 and find scores of stragglers from the night before still drinking Quilmes. The way Jon and I went on, you would think we were 59 but, Jesus, we´re definitely not 21 anymore and we felt it.

After five days there, we headed to the bus station looking once again like extras from Shaun of the Dead for a very pleasant twenty hour bus ride north to the Iguazu Falls. That´s sarcasm by the way, it was a nightmare. There were dead insects on the second bus and it would have been more direct if we´d flown to Strabane and got the Busy Bee to the Falls there were that many stops. Having said that, once we got to the Falls, all was forgotten. The Falls were, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever? (As Jon would say). No, that wasn´t the big excitement. The BIG excitement was cable TV. Yes. We´re back at that again, wonderful, marvellous, amazing, TV. Forrest Gump was on and everything. Seriously though, for the Falls themselves, you only have to look at the pictures, there´s nothing we could say that could be better than just looking.

After Iguazu we headed to Brazil for a bit of surfing, which we`ve now left for Uruguay and another bit of surfing, so we´re really far behind with this blogging thing but I will bring it up to date soon if anyone is still reading it ... or I might not because we are meeting the Irish in Montevideo in two days for a long overdue session and between hangovers and nipping, I´ll probably never get round to it. However, we will be home before you know it and will be available for lectures complete with slideshows for anyone who would like a more in depth account of our experiences. We can arrange handouts, if required. Interested parties please email for details.

La Boca

2007-03-20T23:04:00.001Z

P1030009
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

La Boca

2007-03-20T23:01:00.001Z

P1030013
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

2007-03-20T14:23:00.002Z

Macca has allowed me to add some stuff to the blog as the subject matter is football. Being Irish this is something she knows little about. Unlike cricket after the recent victory over Pakistan (Doms, I hope you won´t now switch allegiances from England to Ireland...).

The Boca game was a fantastic exeprience despite the 3-0 home defeat. We went on a highly inflated priced tour where you pay 10 times the going rate for tickets but you get free beer and your safety is ensured by an escort around and into the stadium by a dozen known Boca faces. I was sceptical of the price but pleased with the decision two days later when we met two Canadian travellers, one of whom had a broken nose caused in a group mugging experience after the game.

The atmosphere in the ground was carnival-like, undoubtedly enhanced by the public cannabis smoking and glue sniffing. It was a bit edgy after the game when the Away fans tried to smash up the ground and the police needed to fire blanks to disperse them outside. However all in all a fun time was had, particularly when a loud American bloke called Troy (who had boasted of only having 3 hours sleep and being back on the beer) fainted and had to be carried home by one of the known faces.

Celtic

2007-03-20T14:23:00.001Z

P1030023
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

On the pitch !

2007-03-20T14:22:00.001Z

P1030008
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

US Stereotypes

2007-03-03T01:42:00.001Z

New Mate
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Not all the North Americans we meet are ignorant, beer swilling, intellectually challenged, bigoted morons - this fella here was definitely an exception to that rule ...

Best Meat in Buenos Aires

2007-03-03T01:38:00.001Z

Siga la Vaca, BA, Birthday Night
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Tango CD release, Boca, Buenos Aires

2007-03-03T01:37:00.001Z

Russian Orthodox Church BA
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

T'was great craic altogether

2007-03-03T01:33:00.001Z

Jon, Vale, Me, Nacho, Omer & Or
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Chile/Argentina Border

2007-03-03T01:29:00.001Z

Chile/Argentina Border
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Don't mention the war. Unless you are Irish.

Just Me & My Dogs ...

2007-03-03T01:25:00.001Z

Dogfest
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

... Street dogs that is that follow you everywhere in Santiago.

Adios Jangles/ Thongs/ Flip Flops

2007-03-02T20:01:00.001Z

P1020823
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

We are saddened to announce the deaths of Mr & Mrs O´Neill-Flipflop after 8 months of hard labour in three continents. Mr & Mr O were adopted for us by Ms M Cronin of Chester in June 2006 and formally handed over in London in a tearful affair in the Law Society in Chancery Lane. They faithfully pounded the pavements of Singapore, Malaysia, Bali, Australia and New Zealand without complaint but, sadly, it appears that the tarmacadam in Chile was just too much for them and Mr O suffered a puncture in the early days in Santiago. Application of duct tape was attempted but, unfortunately, made Miss McD look like a gypo and so the difficult decision was taken to throw them in the bin. They are survived by their close cousins, Mr & Mrs Fatface, and will be sorely missed. May they rest in peace. Or in a rubbish tip in Chile.

Born to Be Annoying

2007-02-27T22:48:00.000Z

Night has fallen over the Andes. There are no cities for miles around. The sky is inky black and speckled with silvery stars in their thousands. The mountains themselves are silhouetted against this illustrious canvas and the bus in which you are travelling has fallen ahush for the last several hours, marvelling at this spectacle of nature through windows like cinema screens. Can you feel the serenity? How about that serenity? What, you think, could enhance this experience? Make it even more memorable? Personally, we had no idea. It was lucky for us then that the fella sitting behind us was more adept at this sort of thing. He knew exactly what to do, it was really so simple. It was to play Born to be Wild as loud as possible through his mobile phone and to join in noisily himself despite obviously not speaking English and so only guessing at the words. How's that serenity now? See? Genius. The fact that he fell asleep shortly after playing it for the fourth time in a row and started snoring was only more evidence of this man's brilliance. I hope every journey is like that.

South America started stressfully with a trip to the dentist in Santiago. Unfortunately, all my GSCE Spanish had centred on asking for directions to the bank and noticing what the man in front of me at the Post Office had bought, so I was unable to say, I'm in agony, make me not be but don't charge me too much. Whatever I said was obviously the complete opposite of that as I remained in agony multiplied times 100 by the hija de puta not giving me enough anaesthetic but starting to drill anyway before charging what was probably the equivalent of her mortgage for the year for the pleasure. To add insult to injury, despite the fact that I had managed to make it clear that I would be going to Argentina in three days, she failed to finish the work which means I have to go back to Santiago from Buenos Aires for a dentist appointment in March. Jon has sagely pointed out that this is roughly the equivalent of being in London and travelling to Moscow to see the dentist. The joys of travelling.

To be honest though, a trip back to Santiago wouldn't be the worst thing in the world and I'm not just saying that because my friend Ioannis is Chilean. Apart from the fact that the Chileans speak Spanish like the Irish speak English, i.e. quickly and lazily, we managed to bumble along merrily and the city is fantastic. We are actually looking forward to going back once we've taken some language courses here in Buenos Aires, not least so I can tell Señora Dentista what I think of her interpersonal skills.

The marvellous bus trip with the brilliant man was between Santiago and Mendoza last Thursday and we arrived in Buenos Aires (or BA as some v sad travellers call it but don't worry we are still ourselves and wouldn't start that shite) this morning after a 14 hour bus ride so I'm a bit too tired to write any more but we should be here for a couple of weeks with free internet so I'll fill in soon if anyone cares. So signing off with an hasta luego shoutout from the big BA until the next time.

Super Doms

2007-02-27T16:17:00.001Z

P1020400
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Apparently my Dad is denying he was ever in New Zealand so I've been forced to release my extra evidence which shows he made it to Invercargill as well and whilst there, as in Mount Cooke, couldn´t resist drawing a picture of himself, although this one is rather more elaborate than the last. He left the glasses off but sure I would know him anywhere.

Stress Free Kayaking

2007-02-19T23:52:00.001Z

P1020460
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

As I am sure you can imagine there were absolutely no arguments whatsoever during this joyful 5 hour trip.

Sets at Mount Maunganui

2007-02-19T23:49:00.001Z

P1020761
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Home for NZ

2007-02-19T23:46:00.001Z

P1020668
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Edgy Times

2007-02-19T23:44:00.001Z

P1020593
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Big as yer head

2007-02-19T23:43:00.001Z

P1020592
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Somewhere on Arthurs Pass

2007-02-19T23:41:00.001Z

P1020586
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Doms

2007-02-19T23:39:00.001Z

P1020311
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Well when we got to (nearly) the top of Mount Cook we were really annoyed that my Dad had got there 16 years before and never even told us. We would never have known had he not drawn this wee picture. For all ye doubters who met my Dad at the wedding, he did have the tash and specs in 91.

Jon Mount Cook

2007-02-19T23:35:00.001Z

P1020308
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Fishing at Sumner

2007-02-19T23:33:00.001Z

P1020256
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Wee Jock (Sans Nose)

2007-02-16T23:24:00.001Z

P1020612
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

The Land of Men with 1,000 Cows

2007-02-10T21:27:00.000Z

Well we've been driving all over New Zealand now for about five or six weeks and the thing we've noticed most about it is Rod Stewart. In Australia, it was Fleetwood Mac: on any given day, we were guaranteed to hear all of Rumours and most of Greatest Hits at least four times, sometimes more; and here, whilst we still do hear most of Rumours and some of Greatest Hits most days, old Rod rules the radio waves.

Apart from being annoyed by old Rod and the "We love this place yeah, yeah" jingle on Classic Hits, we have been taking in probably the best scenery of the trip so far, definitely the most dramatic.

The South Island was amazing. Highlights: Lake Tekapo and Mount Cook; being chased by sea lions; hiding in hides spotting rare Yellow Eye Penguins; sea kayaking at Milford Sound with two great Americans; one of us doing a bungy jump (I think everyone has looked at the extra pictures now so the jig is up - it was just stupid all right, I'm not defensive, ALL RIGHT???); the drives to Milford Sound, from Lake Wanaka to Franz Josef and through Arthurs Pass; the Crayfish Mick & Janet got for us; Green Lipped Mussels; Jon's herbed up rollercoaster ride on the back of Mick's Harley plus the Hot Rods Show; Akaroa; Janet & Mick & Jock; and the Hot Springs. Lowlights: sandflies; sandflies; sandflies; smelling like eggs all day and throwing up and having to have a shower in the middle of the night after not showering after the Hot Springs; and someone failing to do a bungy jump.

The North Island was different but still good. Highlights: Oakura; sea-kayaking-fishing; meeting the man with 1,000 cows; Mordor, Lake Taupo, the Huka Falls, the Forgotten Highway, Rotorua, Mount Muanganui; selling the car for the same amount we paid for it (some vehicle luck at last!). Lowlights: mosquitoes and getting our strawberries, mayonnaise and leftover pasta nicked from the fridge of the campsite at Tongariro.

Did we mention we just sold the car for the same price we paid for it? No? Well, we just sold the car for the same amount we paid for it to two 18 year old German girls who were too scared to drive it after they bought it and so we had to drive them around for an hour before getting fed up and leaving them in a car park. They are getting up at 5am this morning to drive it out of Auckland. Aw!

We are off to South America on Saturday so adios from this part of the world. We lose a day on the 13 hour flight and go from being 12 hours ahead to 4 hours behind which will be a bit weird but the trusty valium and airline red wines will ease the transition we're sure. Oh and we've lost everyone's phone numbers so if you could email us with your numbers that'd be great.

One Jumped and One Didn't ...

2007-01-30T21:42:00.001Z

P1020473
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

... any thoughts? Without looking at the additional pictures which Mr Syer is only seeing now.

2007-01-30T21:41:00.001Z

P1020478
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Sydney

2007-01-20T22:48:00.001Z

P1020184, originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Waiting for the tube at Sydney

2007-01-20T22:45:00.001Z

Waiting for the tube at Sydney
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Jon & Great Auntie Joan

2007-01-20T22:42:00.001Z

Jon & Auntie Joan
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Craig & Anna (& Us)

2007-01-20T22:40:00.001Z

P1020101.JPG
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

John, Simone & Tanner (& Mac)

2007-01-20T22:39:00.001Z

P1010988.JPG
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

First & Last Boyfriends

2007-01-20T22:37:00.001Z

P1010951.JPG
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Five Months Left!

2007-01-13T02:26:00.000Z

They say that Melbourne has four seasons in one day. Well, when we were there over Christmas it had one season in four days - the wet season. We arrived there on 16th December after driving down from Queensland to North New South Wales.

We only had ten days to drive down so zoomed through Surfers Paradise, Coolangatta, Byron Bay, Broken Head, Lennox Head, Nimbin, Crescent Head and the Myall Lakes before flying out from Newcastle. A good time was had by all. Before we left, we tried to flog two knives, two forks, two bowls, two plates, two cups, two glasses, two plates, a camping stove, a frying pan, a saucepan and four storage boxes for $50 but got no bites so ending up giving them away for nothing.

When we first got to Melbourne we initially stayed in a hostel which kindly offered a "free" drink if you turned up at the bar between 5 and 8pm - undoubtedly a ruse to make you turn up early and stay all night. Fortunately we were old enough and wise enough to have realised this and packed ourselves off to bed early since we were meeting friends the next day. Jon hit the sack in the early hours of Sunday at 1am and I went even earlier at 4am. See how much we've matured?

We were lucky enough to have friends in Melbourne prepared to tolerate us over Christmas. First John & Simone in Philip Island who put up with us for a fly-filled week, then Steve & Dian in Kilcunda who showed us how weird Aussies can be when they stand on the balcony of a pub applauding rain, then finally Craig & Anna who were brilliant enough to put up with us for a fantastic Christmas and New Year and who didn't stand on the balcony of their house applauding when we left. Thanks to all of you, especially to Anna for the Cosmopolitans and to Craig for the surprise production of my first boyfriend on the second night we were in Melbourne.

We moved on to Sydney on 2 January for three days where we remembered how violent life can be. We're not referring to the nutter who ran down the street very close to us shouting "I'm going to cut your fucking girlfriend's ponytail off and ram it down your throat, mate" - no, I'm referring to the horrifying special episode of Cheaters where Joey Greco got stabbed. We were on the edge of our seats, admittedly hastened by the vibrations from the pub band underneath playing 'Summer of 69' for the 99th time. Get well soon, Joey. We met up with my cousin Emma on the last night for a quick meal. It's probably for the best that we didn't go to that pub next door, Emma, because I might not have been able to face another early night of the Melbourne hostel variety before our flight the next day.

On 5th January we flew to New Zealand into the capable hands of yet more tolerant friends, Mick & Janet. Mick had organised a car for us before we got there so after getting things sorted, (by which I mean buying two knives, two forks, two bowls, two plates, two cups, two glasses, two plates, a camping stove, a frying pan, a saucepan and four storage boxes) we set off on the road on Thursday this week. So far, we've been to Tepako Lake and Mount Cooke and are now in Dunedin where we'll probably stay for a few days surfing, fishing and what-not before more of the South Island and then back to Mick & Janet's.

We're missing everyone but still only want to come home for a weekend rather than for good. It'll be 18 June before we know it and we'll be standing in Heathrow saying things like "no worries, mate" and "where's the nearest bottle shop" and "it's only ten bucks" and then you will all think we're tits and want us to go away again ...

Putting World to Rights

2007-01-01T23:24:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Fishing at Broken Head

2007-01-01T23:21:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Something Koala Related ...

2007-01-01T23:20:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

... for Keira

Possum Not Rat

2007-01-01T23:19:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Happy Christmas Everyone

2006-12-12T23:25:00.000Z

Well I've been a bit shit lately at updating the blog, but for anyone who's interested in what we've been up to since we left Adelaide, we started in Cairns where we bought the devil campervan, drove to the Daintree, back through the Atherton Tablelands, through Innisfail, Mission Beach, Ingham, Townsville, the Whitsundays, Marlborough, Rockhampton, and then to Noosa where we intended to work.

We had heard Noosa was the place to be on that part of the coast. It's definitely the place to be if you like having manicured nails, wearing white linen clothes, being skinny, having blonde hair, being married to rich men and standing round wanting everyone to notice these things about you whilst drinking white wine with one finger hanging out. Jon's tranny alter ego, Juanita, fitted the criteria well but I narrowly missed out because of the blonde hair bit so we headed to Coolum just a bit south instead.

There, as you know, the devil campervan gave up the ghost, Jon washed pots and I reminded him how many times he went surfing at 4pm in Cornwall whilst I was shouting at Patzy to do trial bundles/ instructions to counsel (which she loved incidentally) and dealing with clients who say things like "he was half gypsy-half ordinary person like". McAllards Law struck when Jon was at the Ashes in Brisbane when we got our memory stick stolen but we discovered the flip side of it when Jon's boss, feeling sorry for us because of the devil van, offered us her granny flat for $100 a week which we snapped up.

Jon's boss, Chuckie, and her partner Mooche turned out to be two of the coolest and nicest people who we've met so far and even fostered a dog whilst we were there so I would have some company when I wasn't reminding Jon of his Cornish surfing adventures. Actually that's a lie they were fostering it anyway but when everyone was at work he was my dog. When Jon wasn't working - which was a lot - he was surfing which took the sting out of the potwashing really.

We left there last Monday and drove up to Hervey Bay (yes, we have laid hands on yet another vehicle) where we went on a trip to Fraser Island - that's a whole blog entry in itself but the short story is they put you with 8 other strangers who you might or might not get on with and then give you a map and a 4WD so you can drive around and explore together for three days.

Did our group get on? Well, personally, we like people who insist on having one and a half toilet rolls per person per day even though you go in the sea, demand on driving around for an hour in the morning to find somewhere to wash the dishes instead of exploring the island, count bread and ration the slices, believe all jellyfish can kill you, glower disapprovingly when you go for a paddle in the sea in case you die, get the hump when you start a long jump competition on the beach instead of finding somewhere to wash the dishes again, go to bed at 9.30pm even though they're in their early 20s and amazingly get the hump again when you stay up til 2am and mistake their tent for yours when you get back to base, but, hey, we're fairly easy going, they might not be everyone's cup of tea.

After a short detour to Rainbow Beach to drop off some of the nice people in our group (there were only two real pains to be honest), we headed back to Coolum to say goodbye to our mates and are now on the road again. We left on Saturday and drove down through the rest of Queensland and are now in New South Wales. Off to Melbourne on Saturday for a few weeks and then off to New Zealand on 5 January if everything stays as planned. If anyone has been sending texts our Aussie phone is buggered, our English phone died and Jon ended his 3 contract so that number is no more. We're not being rude if you don't hear from us and will try to speak to some of you over the holidays.

Indian Head - Fraser Island

2006-12-12T23:23:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

No, it's not the shadows we really are that tan. Yes, it is the wind, I am not really that fat.

Surfers Paradise

2006-12-12T23:21:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Supper!!!!

2006-12-12T23:19:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Chuckie & Pup with No Name

2006-12-12T23:15:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Ellen McArthur Eat Your Heart Out

2006-12-12T23:12:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Freddie ...

2006-12-12T23:10:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

... he the Man

It's Just Me & My Dog

2006-12-12T23:09:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Boomeranging ...

2006-12-12T23:06:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

... with an Aboriginal in native dress. Notice the saftey netting to the right which came in handy when Mac took her go.

Coolum Beach ...

2006-12-12T23:03:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

... where we stayed for 7 weeks fishing and surfing everyday

Whitehaven Beach - Whitsundays

2006-12-12T23:01:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Gregory

2006-11-23T04:52:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

This is Gregory. He's 5.2m and there is about the same distance between where Jon is kneeling taking this picture and the lad himself. Jon at no time felt in danger, however, due to the reassuring plastic rake of the Tesco Value range variety which you will note the keeper toting authoratively. I know many will say, actually he's just tickling Greggers under the chin, but no, he is wielding that rake with authority. At least that's what you tell yourself. The same keeper asked me if I wanted to sit on his back for a photo. As McAllard's Law would have it, that was the only picture which I accidentally deleted by virtue of the fact that it never existed in the first place. Nutter.

Arty Shot on a Beach

2006-11-21T01:30:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

We're having trouble uploading pictures at the moment. I say trouble, but the trouble is we can't do it at the library where it's free so really the trouble is we're being stingy. I did pay $5 to get some on yesterday so here's one to keep anyone's who's checking in interested.

MaccaRoos

2006-11-09T00:50:00.001Z

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

McAllard's Law

2006-11-03T01:42:00.000Z

A question. If you are, as I am, fortunate enough to be born Irish and hence be possessed of the proverbial 'luck'', what happens to that same luck when you marry an Englishman, a nationality not known for their possessing of good fortune? I think I may know.

Well firstly, the campervan crasher, having declined to attend the advanced reversing course, with particular emphasis on avoiding big brown things with bushy green tops, proceeded to reverse it into another tree just five days after buying it. Fortunately the bull bars did their job and stopped the panelwork from crumpling like a Coke can as happened on the West Coast. On a stress scale of 1 to 10 this was about a 5, (most of the stress actually came from the Wolf Creek heeby jeebies at the time but that's another story) but as it turns out, this was just a minor blip.

No, the real humdinger came three days after we pulled into Coolum Beach, a wee town where we've decided to settle for a while. We turned the van on one day to find it had developed a severe dose of whooping cough and had decided not to start. The application of a $60 new battery and $40 worth of fuel did nothing to ease the condition so Mick the Mobile Mechanic was called in. After $100 of Micking he pronounced the van, which we had paid $3,500 for not even a month before, dead. Not all's lost though, he reckons we might get between $15 and $50 for scrap ...

So the answer to the question? It can be reduced to a simple mathematical formula:

1 Irish + 1 English = zero luck.

Staying positive, however, we have both taken action to redress the dip in funds this incident has provoked. Jon found work as a kitchenhand for $12 an hour. I bought a fishing rod to provide free food. So far, surprisingly, the kitchenhand method is actually proving more successful. Having said that, a fish was caught this morning and there was enough for a mouthful each. Slightly worrying is the fact that I thought it was a whiting but Google Images says no and in fact I can't find a single picture of the thing that was ate. Also a bit worrying is the fact that when I opened it, it had a hook inside it, perhaps suggesting a more discerning fisherperson threw it back? Stay posted for more news of whether McAllard's Law has struck again - probably written from a nice Aussie hospital somewhere whilst on a drip.

Home for next three months

2006-10-16T03:13:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Rodney Fox Shark Experience

2006-10-09T02:16:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Skipper McElwee

2006-10-09T02:03:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Mac & Nathan Fishing

2006-10-08T07:41:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Swag Site

2006-10-08T07:32:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

The Boys Fishing

2006-10-08T07:27:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Nathan & his bitches

2006-10-08T06:54:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Wineries

2006-10-08T06:53:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Shell Beach II

2006-10-08T06:51:00.000+01:00

Picture 128
Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Shell beach

2006-10-08T06:49:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Skippy & Mini-Skippy

2006-10-08T06:47:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Flipper

2006-10-08T06:46:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Pelican

2006-10-08T06:29:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Avoiding Tiger Sharks

2006-10-07T07:42:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Humpback

2006-10-07T07:40:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Watching whales illegally - you are supposed to be 200m away but the man we were with didn't seem to know.

Tomatoes Don't Cost a Pound Each

2006-10-07T07:02:00.000+01:00

So right, as I was saying, like about a month ago, we were in Exmouth, North West Australia, about to go enjoy the weather. Enjoy it we did, along with humpback whales, green turtles, dolphins, beaches made entirely of shells, 300 million year old stromatolites, dead kangaroos, live kangaroos, emus, pelicans, snorkeling blah blah blah. We were having such a good time that we topped it all off by reversing the hired campervan into a tree and paying $2,000 for the pleasure.

After that, we decided that it might be an idea to head back to Perth to find a bit of work to make up the damage. After two days of 18 year old Scottish girls telling us you could pay $10 to drink as much as you wanted and get so drunk that you didn't know where you were or what you were doing and that that was fucking brilllliant ... we decided not to work in Perth after all but to head to Emma and Nathan's in Adelaide for some company of our own age and home comforts. The fact that Jon got minus 38 wpm in his typing test also contributed somewhat to this decision.

We couldn't get a flight straight away but luckily fell in with some older male Scots, all of 22 and 23, and allowed them to convince us to get blind drunk every night anyway by using subtle persuasion tactics known as "drinking games". Jon got so drunk the first night that he fell asleep on a bar stool in the foyer of the hostel before deciding it might not be a good idea to join the boys at the nightclub. I topped that off on the Friday night by drinking a case of wine and waking up the other occupants of the dorm in a regrettable fashion at 6am.

The first thing we did when we got to Adelaide was to spend a day enjoying one of Australia's finest pleasures - Foxtel - aka cable TV. Some of the highlights of this magnificent tourist attraction include America's Next Top Model, Property Ladder, FBI files, Seinfeld, the Hotel Inspector but nothing, and I mean nothing, beats Cheaters. Sure, Emma and Nathan took us on a tour of the McLaren Vale Wineries, where you sample some of the best wines in Australia for free and get drunk in the process; so okay, they also took us to the Yorke Peninsula where we saw fantastic scenery, dolphins surfing, slept in swags in the open counting shooting stars and fished for salmon; all right, they might have also taken us out fishing in their boat where we (I use that term loosely, i.e. meaning not me) caught some King George Whiting and Leatherbacks; yes, they did take us to the South Australian German town of Hahndorf for a few European beers in an Antipodean setting; and so on and so on. But can any of that really compare with the look on Latisha's face when Joey Greco told her that Tyrol had been seeing Peaches McCabe behind her back? I think not.

The campervan crasher himself will be logging on next week. At the moment he is out hunting for another campervan to back into an immovable object. This time we will be purchasing it, so we can enjoy the thrill of trashing our own property, instead of someone else's.

Same clothes again ...

2006-09-11T08:52:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

1300km of this

2006-09-11T08:50:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

See how cool the creases look ...?

2006-09-11T08:48:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Last Night

2006-08-27T07:27:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Lovina

2006-08-27T06:56:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Gitgit Waterfall

2006-08-27T06:51:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Offerings

2006-08-27T06:49:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Rice Paddies

2006-08-27T06:47:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Kintamanu

2006-08-27T06:44:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Jon, Wayan, Monkeys

2006-08-27T06:40:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.

Rafting

2006-08-27T06:38:00.000+01:00

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Originally uploaded by carrekwoth.